Dear Carnal Counsel,
I've recently starting this guy and have begun consummating our relationship. My orgasm is a little shy and is regularly faked. I was "with" the new guy and really enjoying the sex but still felt obligated to fake an orgasm. After I faked we continued to play and shortly afterwards I came for real. And then again. So now he either thinks I came three times or faked them all. How do I approach my suspicious orgasm? Whats the typical orgasm limit for women during sex?
Its possible he knew you faked your O. Or assumes you faked it all three times. Quite honestly, who cares? The most important part of the sexual experience is that you're both enjoying yourselves and that your satisfied. Your sexual satisfaction does not mean you orgasm (likewise, neither does he).
Ever since the the world discovered the female orgasm existed thus began the intense battle to discover it. This adds a multitude of stress and unnecessary pressure for both participants. It gets to a point during the sexual experience that the female just is trying to get it over with. This race to an end isn't a comfortable experience for anyone.
Whenever I'm with someone who mentions his ability to make a woman come or how important it is for the lady to orgasm during sex I know I'm going to be frustrated with the experience. Its this bizarre complex men get where they feel they're not sexually regular if they can't get the woman to come. And the woman feels she's not sexually regular if she's can't.
There are many camps of people in this argument. There are women who believe the o-fakers are making it worse for other women because they're giving men unrealistic egos. There are the people who believe they should just fake it to get the sexual expeirence over with. And theres the ever popular joke "So, your wife can't orgasm? Whats the problem!?"
I haven't faked orgasms in a while. This doesn't mean I tell my partner whether I "have or not." Nothing ruins a sexual experience more than some inexperietti asking "did you or didn't you?" Obviously, your concern with my orgasm isn't as important as you pretend.
My conclusion to this battle is to just have fun with sex while the time is right. Both people need to be comfortable with each other for the sexual experience to reach its optimal performance. If you feel as though you're not going to be able to reach that climax, don't worry about it too much. This is something you can work on with yourself or slowly with your partner. If you're with someone you trust go ahead and talk it out with them.
Men and Women--its extended metaphor time! Sex is a meal. It begins with an appetizer to get your mouth (and extremeties) wet. Following is the main course. The meat of the meal. Even vegetarian's can't deny a little sexmeat. Finally, the climax, the desert. That beautiful creme brulee that you can't believe you're eating. You have to fit in that dress in a month! Its the best part of the meal but its definitely not the most important part. It tastes so good but you couldn't do anything with just creme brulee in your stomach.
